Bold Journey: Nicolette, thank you so much for making time for us today. We can’t wait to dive into your story and the lessons you’ve learned along the way, but maybe we can start with something foundational to your success. How have you gone about developing your ability to communicate effectively?
There isn’t one simple answer to that because I learned a lot about communications from social cues, body language, reading, traveling, failing to communicate, as well as listening to others. Ultimately, I learned how to communicate most effectively through writing. Since I was little, I’ve always kept diaries, and in hindsight, I think it was a subconscious space to speak my truth. Plus, I always loved reading at the library, so writing in my diary was also like my own little world in a secret book with a lock and key. Stories that belonged to me. Over time, as an adult, my passion for writing led to a career.
Back to your question: in private, I’ve always written a lot of personal letters to myself. Even today, although I wouldn’t call it a journal or a diary, yet I suppose that’s what it is. Writing things down helps me organize my thoughts and decide what is relevant to my message and what is hindering my delivery. We can fine-tune our words, thoughts, and emotions just like we edit our papers.
Releasing my feelings through the written word helped me navigate life complexities that would have been too daunting to decipher alone if I hadn’t poured them out from my head. Because whether you’re interpreting your diary or a dream from the night before, we can learn a lot about ourselves by what we’re saying or thinking on the regular. We can also learn how to communicate more effectively, as well as pinpoint exactly where we are flailing, by reading our own words. People write down speeches before they rehearse and deliver them to the audience. Imagine being the reader or the listener to your own thoughts… the more you write things down, like exercising a muscle, the more your speaking voice is going to improve as well.
BJ: Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?
Born and raised in Texas and NYC—I’m an artist: published writer, dancer, vocalist, thespian, and amateur photographer. I’ve done a little modeling, too, and was accepted by Barbizon but declined their contract offer. For years, I’ve covered numerous press events as a (dyslexic) writer. My portfolio reflects a vast array of creative content, and I’ve obtained 110+ publications in the US and Europe so far. My career transcends multiple industries like AI content engineering, jewelry, publishing, sales, customer service, fashion, A&E, fine dining, and tech. No matter the job I work(ed) in order to make a living—my focus always finds its way back home to creative arts!
Over time, I’ve interviewed an extensive list of diverse talent that inspired me, including talent like Oscar nominee Greta Gerwig and Oscar winner Jimmy Chin. I’ve collaborated with companies and publicity teams from Texas Monthly, National Geographic, Prevention Magazine, HBO Films, The Hollywood Reporter, SXSW, The David Lynch Foundation, The University of Texas at Austin, and more. Presently, my portfolio entails 12 national awards or scholarships, including both individual and group projects.
Looking back, SCAD and Texas Monthly were the launchpads of my professional journey as a writer. But my artistic journey began back in pre-K through music, dance, sports, and theater arts. Since childhood, I always believed in my heart and soul that I was an artist! College forced me to choose between the arts or athletics, and I am grateful I chose to follow my artistic dreams rather than a sports scholarship. To each their own.
BJ: There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
Oh, wow. I often struggle with these questions and wish I had come up with a more refined answer later on. Today, I’m going to go with my gut instincts:
1. My willingness to put myself out there, even if it means embarrassment or facing rejection. For instance, my grammar is a humbling work in progress due to struggling with dyslexia on my own until college. A story I’ve discussed at length before. Basically, I never know whether to be transparent or to withhold my dyslexia, because some people see it as a disability and others see it as a superpower! Regardless, the amount of rejection letters I’ve received from editors and the scrutiny, or judgment, from teachers and society because of grammatical errors is profound. At first, it was scathing to hear, and back then, I allowed others to make me feel inferior or uneducated.
Some people might have found the feedback too discouraging, disheartening, and given up from the external harshness. For me, it fueled my fire to prove them wrong! We must develop thick skin, like a python, and keep going if we want to succeed. Bravery takes courage; you can still be afraid of failure and intimidated by rejection. People can hurt your feelings. We might even make a fool of ourselves, which might bruise our ego or self-esteem. No matter what happens, we must find a way to keep shooting our shot, particularly when we’re apprehensive! And if you’re struggling with courage, that’s simple: face your fear, swallow your pride, step out of your comfort zone, and ask for help (from those you admire or anyone stronger than you). There is no shame in admitting we need help sometimes.
2. Balance is a lucrative life skill! Finding that balance of work versus playfulness, discipline versus rigidity, and pleasure versus inordinate indulgence is a lifelong challenge for many, myself included. I’ve always contained vibrant energy, a strong work ethic, and lots of passion. That’s simply part of my innate, vigorous nature, whether it was sports, the arts, school, relationships, or my career. However, constantly enduring that high level of energy is a lifelong practice that requires extra self-care.
My own intensity can wear out my nervous system. Meaning, in order to balance out my passionate life, I have to pour extra love and care into myself. Otherwise, I hit a burnout. We are not machines, and even machines require a reboot. Adulting is challenging, and your personal life will affect your work life, and vice versa. Your daily lifestyle choices, habits, friends, thoughts, and sleep cycles—all of those elements impact your performance, and more importantly, your peace of mind.
3: Ignoring the haters and the naysayers is vital. I’ve always been a misfit, and it used to sear my emotions when people didn’t see me, underestimated me, or made snap judgments based on my appearance, or whatever. But we have zero control over what society thinks of us or how other people behave. We can’t control how others see us. People are viewing life through their own personal lens. How we treat others is a reflection of how we feel about ourselves, so don’t take it to heart if people don’t always like you. What matters is that YOU like and respect yourself.
Focus on what you can control, like regulating our emotions and our responses to said emotions. Focus on evolving into a mature, grounded, confident person that knows their self-worth and identity. We need constructive criticism, but don’t allow dysfunctional, immature vipers to steal your light or poison your spirit with negative, inaccurate judgments, projections, and jealousy. Concentrate on your character and how you treat others, not your reputation or the gossip. Do not let other people define you. Make it a priority to like and love yourself, without the approval of others. We all want to be loved, and we all want to feel seen, but it’s O.K. to be alone and misunderstood sometimes.
Word of caution: Be careful of the company you keep. Sometimes it’s your own tribe, the people closest to you, that want to derail you. Hanging out with rotten fruit will contaminate you, too.
BJ: Okay, so before we go we always love to ask if you are looking for folks to partner or collaborate with?
Yes, I am looking for collaborators and people that I can also learn from. Presently I am open to trustworthy connections that lead to radio, sports entertainment, and video editing. I applied to a radio job long before podcasts ever went viral and was told that my demo was fantastic, but I needed experience. Sports entertainment mixes my passions for theater arts, athletics, and entertainment all into one role.
As for video and film, I want to share my dancing online rather than commit to a dance troupe like I did for years. Alas, I’ve hidden myself away when it comes to my singing voice and my dancing. Solely in fear that my dancing, my music, or my sensuality in general might be considered too scandalous or too provocative for corporate and might cost me a job. Or cause people to not take my career seriously, like a wild card. But I want to safely showcase all my talents; I am so much more than my writing career! Although I am proud of my hard editorial work thus far.
Nicolette Mallow 